When we create change and transition in life, we are moving through a process that is forming as we go and leads from one state to another.
Some create the process of change consciously, being aware that they are moving from one stage to another in the path of life, and thus they move step by step out of wakefulness and attentiveness.
Some drift to the next stage, without control or awareness, and find themselves one clear day in a place they do not understand how they got there.
Some recognize that life pushes them to create change and in response cling with all their might to the existing situation, out of great fear of moving into the unknown.
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Within a change, a process occurs. This is a process in which things that do not correspond to the new phase fade away or are left behind, and things that correspond to the next phase continue with us.
However, the natural human tendency is to shy away from change, because, in popular perception, change means endings, separations, parting, and walking into the unknown.
It raises uncertainty. It’s scary and threatening.
Along with the concerns and fears, for many people the experience of ending and parting, which is created as a result of the movement from an existing situation to a new stage, evokes feelings of sadness and emotional pain.
These feelings are very natural. This is because what connects us to situations, places, and people and binds us to them, are our emotions, which are responsible for creating the psychic tissue of connection between us and the world.
The emotions that bind us to the outside world and relationships are both positive and negative.
Along with loving relationships that come to an end, such as when parting from a loved one, or a joint decision to end a relationship that has reached exhaustion and is moving in a closed circle, we also often hear about relationships loaded with negative baggage and negative emotions that last for years, just because of fear of leaving and attachment to the dynamic of pain, conflict, and fear.
Both positive and negative emotions can prevent us from making a change because they bind us to an existing situation. This is because these feelings are fed by belief systems and a worldview in which a person perceives themselves as weak, incapable, or threatened by the outside world, and does not dare to dream or believe that beyond the existing situation there are other possibilities.
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Because of the emotional pain and the fear of the unknown, some hold on to the existing situation, even when it is clear that it has finished its role and drag out the end of something that has long been irrelevant.
Some take extreme and drastic measures to gain courage and strength. This leads to a sharp, rapid, and unbalanced change.
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So how do you cope? First some insights
- When you are in the process of change, be patient with yourself and remember that a balanced change is not extreme or drastic but happens gradually.
- Remember that one step and another creates a path and that it is a gradual process in which you shift more and more weight from an existing situation to a new and desired one. In the process of change, one thing gradually fades away and something new intensifies. I call it: a harmonious transition from step to step.
- The essence of change is a movement of internal renewal, which affects the external reality. In other words, the beginning of the change is not with big outward declarations, but rather with the readiness to intimately declare to yourself internal declarations, which have sincerity and a clear expression of intention as to what you would like to realize and fulfill in your life. Try to see it as an inner space that exists within your psyche, where you dare to dream, enrich yourself, and manifest a change within yourself. From this inner space, the change will begin to flow outwards, into everyday reality, and will gradually materialize until fulfillment.
- You will find that the readiness to face yourself for a moment, openly and honestly, to shed systems of denial and concealment, and to acknowledge that the time has come to move to a new stage and bring about change, already feels as if the change happened and took place outside of you. From there, the way is paved to begin and realize the insights and movements that took place within your mind, in the reality outside of you.
- And one last thing… sometimes a change will encourage you to make a leap of faith, leading to a breakthrough in your life. In other words, you will be required to recognize when the gradual and moderate processes have reached a maturity that calls you to dare and release your grip on the existing situation, in order to allow something new to enter your life. When you have reached this stage, you will have to create a leap of faith, in which you move the other leg to a new situation, give up hesitation and fear in favor of faith in yourself and life, and encourage your psyche to be curious and creative and start moving in a new and unknown space, in a renewed process of self-discovery.
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After the cognitive insights, here are some recommendations on how to create a balanced change:
Focus your attention on what you seek to strengthen in your life and allow it to grow.
Have an honest conversation with yourself, void of systems of concealment and denial, and define for yourself, without reservations and fear, what you want to express in the new phase.
Don’t hold on to what you are afraid of losing or ending, because what doesn’t match the new phase will naturally fade away, and what fits and supports the change you create will carry on with you.
Start supporting the change with small steps and remember that one step after another creates a path that accumulates into change.
Remember that a harmonious change is a change without drama or extremes. It is a gradual change that has a smooth and natural transition, where one thing fades and dissipates, and another intensifies and strengthens.
Be on the move and proactive. Don’t slow down and stop the change. Encourage yourself to be curious, creative, and open to the opportunities that come your way.
Remember that nothing ends, it only changes form, and in doing so, allow yourself to shift your attention from the fear of losing and parting, to the joy of discovery, curiosity, and creativity.
Be attentive to yourself and the path. K now how to recognize when everything is inviting you to take a leap of faith that can quickly lead you to a new place and new possibilities, just waiting to be fulfilled.
Agree on a basic premise that says: when you are attentive to your pure will and your heart’s desire that leads you to create change – you embrace a process of growth that empowers you and your environment
In this way, you will be able to dispel the fear and apprehension of the future and release your grip on what has ended, in favor of renewal.
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To summarize – Choose an issue in your life that you want to focus on creating change in, and ask yourself:
What is my desire regarding this issue?
What are my thoughts on this issue?
What are my feelings toward this issue?
Now, make an inner declaration with honesty and courage – what is the change you want to create and how do you want the new phase of your life to look like?
Ask yourself: What actions do I need to take to realize development and movement concerning the issue I have chosen?
Now, define for yourself a continuous period in which you agree to persist in holding thoughts, feelings, and actions that support the issue you wish to develop in your life to bring about change.
I would love to read your comments about what touched you in this article and what thoughts you had.
Yours with love
Louharya
